


the density of water

by risquetendencies



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Getting Together, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 11:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15994331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risquetendencies/pseuds/risquetendencies
Summary: Both boys are tired. Ash is slightly more tired, but he still craves a bath.





	the density of water

“And here’s a clip from her new film,  _Love Definitely_ , coming to theaters soon!”

Eiji peers owlishly at the television as the clip begins. From the look of it, it’s the quintessential romantic comedy, starting with a happy couple and a meet cute. The main pair are shown bumping into each other in a coffee shop and hitting it off. From there, the clip jumps to them kissing in the rain. Ending on that satisfying note, the program turns back to the late-night show’s host.

Lifting an arm behind his head, Eiji yawns loudly.

The movie doesn’t look so bad, but it’s not really his thing either.

This entire show could be summed up in the same way. The host cracks a lot of jokes – some of them hit the funny mark, the others fly over his head. It’s mediocre but entertaining enough for when he’s about to doze off. He watches the host start to interview the actress, and feels his eyelids getting gradually heavier. But, before he can completely fall asleep, there’s a loud bang.

Jumping in his seat, Eiji grabs a pillow as a shield. He’s frozen as footsteps start to echo in the apartment hallway, growing closer by the second.

To his consummate relief, he soon sees a familiar blond head turn the corner. It’s just Ash.

“You scared me,” he admits aloud, lowering the pillow.

Ash stares at him, expression neutral.

“Where’s the shampoo?” he asks.

“Oh, I didn’t put it away already?” Eiji says, brain instantly going to when he’d returned from the supermarket. He feels like he’d put away most of what he’d bought, but there were some bags he left on the kitchen counter. Maybe it’s in there.

“Well, it’s not in the bathroom,” Ash returns, sounding put out.

Eiji grimaces. Lifting both his arms this time, he stretches them out, feeling the blood pump back through both limbs slowly. It seems he can’t go to sleep just yet.

“I’ll look for it. Go ahead and draw your bath. I’m sure I bought some. There’s still soap, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll bring it when I find it.”

“Fine,” Ash replies, turning on his heel and disappearing back down the hallway.

Making a face at his retreating back, Eiji readies himself to get up. It’s a task that’s easier said than done, he finds out, because when he tries to stand up, his body protests the movement. A sluggish feeling overtakes him, and he puts a hand out to the couch arm to steady himself. Giving it a few seconds, he gradually feels his legs wake up again, and stands up straight and tall.

It's not a big deal, he tells himself. After he brings Ash what he needs, he’ll head to bed. That will be better than dozing off on the couch anyway.

Simple.

Crossing the living room, Eiji heads for the kitchen and his shopping haul. As he goes, he surveys his surroundings. The apartment they’re in for now is upscale, a far cry from the holes in the walls they have hid out in before. It almost feels like a home, were it not for the stiffly elegant furniture. He can relax here well enough, but is it his ideal? No.

Still, he’s not complaining.

When he reaches the kitchen, Eiji immediately spots the bags left out on the counter and makes a beeline for them. It has to be in there somewhere.

Standing in front of one, he rifles through the contents. Boxed food and snacks that haven’t been put away yet. No, that one isn’t right. He then moves on to the next one. Bathroom supplies, yes, but it’s toothpaste and combs. Still not quite right. So, he moves on to the third bag, and finally strikes gold. Pulling out the shampoo, he raises it over his head in triumph.

Now he just has to drop it off and then his bed is the next stop. Given how tired Eiji feels at the moment, the thought is an extremely welcome one.

Turning around, he leaves the kitchen and heads down the hall.

He’s spent the day cleaning and running errands like the shopping, and though the activities aren’t as physical as running away from gunfire, like they normally seem to be doing, he’s beat. Perhaps it’s partly due to the emotional exhaustion setting in. Prior to this place, they’d had to leave their safehouse in a hurry, and he hadn’t been sure they would make it out before Golzine’s men arrived. He’s still not entirely over it, but they’d made it here safely.

That’s all that matters.

As he approaches the bathroom though, Eiji wonders about that. How long until they’ll have to move again? Part of him is afraid to hope for even another day in the same location.

_Splash_.

Eiji pulls up just short of the bathroom door, and stops, clutching the shampoo bottle against his chest. All his earlier thoughts dissipate. Unbidden, he feels his pulse start to speed up, beating loud enough that it’s pounding in his ears. As his mind catches up, he starts to put two and two together from what he just heard.

Ash is in the bath already.

Swallowing hard, he quickly tries to reason with himself.

_You can do this_ , Eiji thinks.  _You’ve seen him in the bath before, so this is no different_.

But somehow, it does feel different.

Recently, he’s been thinking a lot about Ash, and what their relationship is to each other.

If he's being honest, they haven't known each other long. But that hasn't stopped his heart from feeling things that are far too intense and long-lasting than what would normally transpire in such a time. When he thinks about the future now, Eiji knows he can't envision one without Ash anymore. He has affected him profoundly, to the point where he feels an overwhelming pull to stay by his side. Logically, Eiji knows he'd be safer, maybe better off in some other respects, if he left Ash behind. But his thought process has become irrational.

He won't leave.

But that's only one part of it.

As if he wasn't treading on thin ice already just being around Ash, someone whose life will inevitably always revolve around dangerous situations and gray morality, he's grown feelings of a different flavor. He doesn't just want to be around Ash - he wants to  _be_  with Ash. Eiji knows it's ridiculous, and asking far too much of the universe to want that, but he still does. When he looks at Ash now, it's with rose-colored glasses. When he comforts him, it's not only out of a strong friendship, but an affection that borders on full out love. It may as well be, Eiji thinks. He's just not sure you can call it that when the feeling's unrequited.

And it surely is - unrequited.

He knows Ash doesn't look at him through that lens. Their interactions for Ash are probably that of friends, if very good friends. He doesn't doubt it when Ash tells him things like to never leave his side, but Eiji isn't misguided enough to believe he means it in any other way than friendship. Funnily enough, they've kissed, but he's aware it was only a ruse to pass along the pill with a message inside. At that juncture, they weren't even rightfully friends. It didn't mean anything.

Lowering the shampoo bottle, Eiji sighs.

It's hopeless, really, feeling the way he does. And at some point he'll need to figure out a way to deal with his feelings and contain them once and for all, but it's not looking like that's going to be tonight. He's far too worn out to fight any internal battles.

For now, he has one task, and then he can sleep. It's easy enough to do, so he's ready to get it over with.

Stepping forward, he pushes open the bathroom door and goes in.

Instantly, the warmth of the room wraps around his shoulders like a blanket fresh from the heater, the fullness of the steam coating every inch of his body. Breathing out, he adjusts to the temperature change and ventures over to the tub, where Ash is sitting chest deep in the water. His torso is glittering with droplets of water or sweat, giving off a sheen under the fluorescent lights that unfairly draws Eiji's attention. Or at least, he's happy enough to blame it on the lighting. Truthfully, it probably would have drawn his attention no matter what.

"I've got the shampoo."

"Thanks, Eiji," Ash returns, holding out a hand for the bottle.

Eiji passes it off and inwardly sighs in relief. Sleep, he thinks, and better yet, the oblivion from pesky thoughts that comes with sleep. He's so close to not having to think!

Getting ready to head out, he states, "Well, if that's a-"

"I've always wondered what your hot springs are like. In Japan, I mean," Ash says, cutting into his departure. "Are they basically really hot baths?"

The question disarms Eiji to the point where he stops where he's standing and quirks an eyebrow.

"Onsens?"

"Yeah, those. What are they like?"

He takes a moment to consider his answer, staring out the bathroom window where the rain is sliding down the glass. The walls are so soundproof though that he can't hear it. Which is a shame; Eiji's always loved the patter of rain against the ceiling or walls, especially when he's ready for bed.

"Hot... relaxing... and very... strict," he replies gradually, pointing a finger under his chin thoughtfully. Next to him, he feels Ash staring. 

"Strict?"

"They aren't for horsing around. Or even talking loudly. People will scold you if you try to do either. Oh, and they're not exactly baths either. You have to wash off before you can even enter the onsen."

Ash lets out a low whistle, drawing Eiji's attention back in his direction. As soon as he looks though, he looks away, face feeling a little warmer. Looking at Ash in the bath is dangerous, Eiji decides. If he lets his eyes wander too much, things will get awkward. And that's the last thing he needs - something to change Ash's mind about keeping him around, all because he can't keep his hormones in check. That would be the most embarrassing way for them to go their separate ways.

"I've said it before, but you all are odd over there. I'm surprised people don't use them as regular baths."

"Well they aren't filtered in the same way as a tub, so they wouldn't stay clean if we did that."

"Still, it's hot water. Surely someone's had the idea to wash up in there."

"I suppose it's possible. But in public, there are rules."

They fall quiet then, and Eiji thinks that finally, he might be able to make his escape. Bed is calling out to him more than ever, and he's especially ready to rid himself of all the distracting thoughts about Ash. It may be that it takes him longer to fall asleep because of them, but eventually, he knows his bodily fatigue will win out. That, he can count on.

"Ahh, I'm so beat."

Looking to the side, he sees Ash lean back in the bathtub, resting his shoulders against the back of it. The water splashes as he rearranges, a peaceful sort of sound that only makes Eiji long for his bed even more. There's something about water, he thinks, that is inherently relaxing.

"Me too," he decides to confide. 

"I probably can't even get through washing my hair, but part of me wanted a bath so bad," Ash says, kicking his knees up out of the water. They send little droplets of water flying, and Eiji swears inwardly as he sees the exposed skin sitting above water. This, this is dangerous, he thinks to himself as his temperature steadily rises.

What's even more dangerous, though, is what he blurts out next.

"Do you want some help?"

The silence then between them is deafening.

Instantly, Eiji starts to sweat, worrying that he'd been too obvious. Friends don't go around washing their other friend's hair, as far as he knows. Or maybe they do if they're close. But that's only a maybe, and he's not sure what Ash will make of it. Will he put two and two together and realize where Eiji's heart is at?  _No_ , Eiji pleads inwardly.  _Please don't suspect anything_. Praying to all the gods he knows, he hopes this as the silence continues to stretch out for a solid minute. By the time it's broken, his entire body feels stiff with fear.

"...If you want to."

Wide-eyed, Eiji glances at Ash for confirmation. The blond stares at him neutrally, betraying no emotion.

"I don't mind," he says weakly, feeling his pulse race.

Is he really going to do this?

"Thanks."

Ash leans back even further, sliding down to let his head rest against the lip of the bathtub. Eiji slowly approaches, nabbing the bottle of shampoo as he walks around to the head of the tub and kneels down beside it. All the while, his heart beats an allegro rhythm, jackhammering at the wall of his chest like it's forcing its way out. Swallowing hard to drown the lump in his throat, he uncaps the shampoo and tries to act normal. There has to be some way he can make it through this without giving anything away. Some way to downplay his nervousness.

"Hey. What kind of shampoo did you end up getting?" Ash asks, looking upside down at him.

Mercifully, Eiji regains control over himself enough for inspiration to take hold. When it does, he smiles on the inside, knowing full well the effect his answer is about to have.

"It's your favorite," he says, a little too obviously pleased in his tone, " _pumpkin_  spice."

The glare Ash sends him then is legendary. Definitely in the top five of all-time pouts he has ever seen on Ash's face. 

"Tell me you're fucking kidding."

Eiji can't help it. Folding a hand over his mouth, he lets out a stream of hearty laughs.

"Your face, Ash!" 

"You're full of shit, Eiji."

Ash continues to pout, and after a few seconds pass, Eiji reluctantly stops laughing and takes pity on him.

"I'm kidding. I think it's ocean-scented."

"Thank god, I was starting to think you'd really went and got the other kind," Ash replies, pout loosening up into a more calm expression. "Ocean is fine."

"Yes, yes," Eiji adds, reaching down to pick up the bottle. 

Turning it upside down, he starts to pour some of the shampoo into his palm. It comes out a pearly blue, perfectly appropriate for an ocean-scented blend. Still smiling to himself, Eiji sets the bottle down and then works the shampoo over both of his hands before raising them up to the lip of the tub, and by extension, the top of Ash's head. Sucking in a breath, he decides to just go for it. How bad can it be anyway? All he's doing him is a simple favor. He doesn't need to get worked up about it.

Reassurance in mind, he sets to work, combing his lathered fingers through the strands of blond at the crown, slowly working from root to tip. Gradually, Eiji starts to fan down from there, rubbing his fingers into Ash's scalp when and where he can. He knows how good that feels when he does it to himself, so he figures it'll feel similarly good for him. And if he's doing this, he's going to do it well. There's no other option.

Still, he's struck as he moves along by how soft Ash's hair is under his fingers. It feels like liquid silk, just as smooth as the shampoo he's working into the strands. Compared to his own, slightly coarse and curly mane, it's incredible. He's always thought it looked that way - soft - but to actually feel it is a whole new story. Part of him never wants to let go.

"Lift your head," he instructs as he gets down to where the longer pieces are trapped against the tub wall.

Ash raises his head up, eyes closed. Eiji works his hands through the rest of the hair, slicking down each piece with the scented gel. Smelling it up close, he reflects that it's pretty nice. Not what he'd imagine when he thinks of the ocean, but the shampoo has a pleasant, thoroughly clean smell that could pass for ocean, if only you ignored the lack of a tinge of salt in the scent.

Reaching the end, he runs out of gel, and pulls his fingers out to re-lather. As he does, he notices Ash continuing to hold his head up, eyes still closed like he's perfectly at peace.

When he has more to work with, Eiji starts at the top again, this time focusing on his scalp massaging as he washes through the hair at the crown. His fingers go to work, bearing down on the skin with a gentle pressure, just enough to make an impact. He doesn't want to be too rough, but also not too gentle, or it won't feel like anything. 

Suddenly, Ash's head shifts beneath his hands, seemingly leaning up into his touch. Eiji's heart correspondingly speeds up.

Is he doing well? Is Ash liking this?

Better yet, has he made up for the awkwardness of him offering to do it in the first place? With any luck, that's all but forgotten in Ash's mind by now.

Nearly holding his breath, he lets his fingers continue to roam, and waits.

"You're good at this. You must have done it before," Ash comments out of the blue, eyes still peaceably shut.

Simultaneously, Eiji's heart swells, and he starts to calm down.

"Nope, never," he answers truthfully.

It's not even a second before Ash responds.

"Good."

The answer throws him.  _Good_ , Eiji thinks in abject confusion,  _what's good about that_?

"Um... you're ready to rinse," he says more as a ploy to buy time than anything else while he works out the situation. It doesn't make any sense why Ash would answer that way.

Sitting back on his heels, he watches as Ash obeys the instruction, ducking under the water and blindly running his hands through his hair to diffuse the shampoo. By the time he comes back up out of the water, though, Eiji is no closer to a stroke of realization and is still, in fact, trying to puzzle out what he meant. A conundrum that doesn't improve when Ash, newly returned to the surface, turns over in the bath to lay on his stomach against the lip of the tub. He peers over at Eiji for a moment before saying anything.

"I bet you want to know why I said that," he remarks, lips quirking at the corners in amusement. It's almost enough to make Eiji frown, but he doesn't, opting instead for the truth.

"Yes."

Ash lets out a long sigh.

"Because, Eiji... I don't want to imagine you doing this for anyone else."

Eiji's heart starts to pound again.

"Oh..." he begins smartly, "Um, I see."

"Do you? I wonder sometimes," Ash says, staring him down.

"Do I what?"

"I wonder how much of what I say actually gets through to you."

Ash's jade eyes are piercing him through right now, and so Eiji can't help the nerves that begin to balloon inside his gut, stirring up his insides and causing him to sweat. His heart feels like it's going crazy, and he still is hopelessly unaware of where this conversation is heading. With the way Ash is looking at him though, he can't help but think that it's something incredibly important that's passing between them now. 

"What do you mean?" he asks, desperate to understand.

Instead of immediately answering him, Ash reaches out a hand, and slowly brushes some of Eiji's hair out of his eyes and away to the sides. Once that task is accomplished, Ash keeps his hand resting on the side of Eiji's face, and continues to stare at him intensely. Unsurprisingly, this does no favors for Eiji's anxiety. Swallowing hard, he tries his best to keep still and not disturb whatever is transpiring.

"Just promise me you wouldn't do this with anyone else," Ash states, voice low and firm.

"Wash their hair for them?"

"Yes. Say you'd only do it for me."

Trying to ignore the mind-numbing quality of Ash's gaze, and the warmth of his hand on his face, Eiji contemplates the sentence. He doesn't have to think for long before he has his answer.

"I guess so. I'm not really close enough with anyone else to do that."

"Hmm," Ash begins, humming a little. His hand starts to inch back, and the pad of his thumb begins rubbing at Eiji's ear lobe. "That's good, but... I'm not satisfied."

Shivering from the touch, Eiji just barely manages to stifle a groan. It feels unfairly good in ways that will cause him to embarrass himself if it continues for much longer. He doesn't have to think to know that.

"I'm not sure... what you're asking then," he admits.

To his surprise, Ash barks out a laugh.

"It's just like I thought," he says once he recovers, "You're dense, Eiji."

"Hey."

"What? I'm speaking the truth."

"Just because I don't understand you when you are being cryptic doesn't mean I'm dense. Anyone would have trouble following along," Eiji insists, pouting. He may not be sure where this is going, but he is sure that Ash is making fun of him.

Mercifully, Ash relinquishes his hand, pulling it back to rest close to his own chest. There, he places the index finger and his thumb a hair's distance apart.

"Eiji, I'm about this close to kissing you."

Before he can even half process those words, Eiji feels his back hit the tiled bathroom wall, and realizes he scooted backwards and up against it. Red-faced, he tries to let the statement sink in. But the larger part of him can't.

"W-What?"

"I like you, and I want to kiss you. Is that demystified enough for you?"

Eiji's face is officially on fire.

"Yes. I... I see now."

Except, he doesn't understand it. Not the words themselves, no, it's abundantly clear from them what Ash is saying. It's more the fact that he's saying it at all that doesn't click for Eiji. How is it possible, for instance, for their feelings to be mutual? He would never have believed that even a few minutes ago, and so for it to be the truth now is staggering. 

Taken in context, now he can view Ash's earlier statement as jealousy. ' _Just promise me you wouldn't do this with anyone else_ ' sounds an awful lot like ' _I won't give you up to anyone else_ ' now that he's thinking about it. Does Ash really feel that way? Is it possible that he feels just as strongly as Eiji does about him?

No matter what the case is, it's clear: Eiji isn't the only one feeling things between them that run deeper than logic dictates.

Letting out a shaky breath, he returns his gaze to the tub where Ash is still laying, watching him. He hears the water splash as Ash shifts inside the bath, and waits for some direction.

"But don't worry. I can hold back."

Eiji arches his eyebrow.

Hold back? 

Given the way his pulse is pounding in every vein of his body, he's not sure he isn't hoping for a different outcome than that.

Suddenly feeling bold, he states, "What if I said I didn't want you to hold back?"

The only sound then comes from the faucet of the bathtub, and the few drops that rain down from it into the water's surface. Ash stares back at him tremulously for a few breaths, until, finally, thankfully, his expression melts into a grin that Eiji is all too familiar with. The same grin that he uses when he teases him about his cooking, or laughs at his jokes, or just when he's happy.

A good sign.

"Then I'd say you have to come a little closer."

As if drawn by magnetism, Eiji follows the suggestion and moves back up to the lip of the bath, and finds himself staring closely into Ash's verdant stare. They study each other for a few long moments in utter silence, each seemingly waiting to see who will act first. 

Still a little unsure, Eiji speaks first.

"This means something, right? It's not just a..."

"A whim? No, Eiji."

Tipping forward, Ash connects their lips, surprising him utterly. Eiji freezes up, faintly registering the warmth of Ash's mouth on his but not fully processing it. He doesn't get there before the kiss is over, and Ash is leaning back away from him.

"I mean it," Ash adds, sounding a little breathy. "How about you?"

By this time, Eiji's heart is beating so loudly that he almost thinks that could be answer enough in of itself. But if it's not, then there's only one way he can think of to show his cards.

Reaching out, he places both hands on either side of Ash's face and reels him in until their lips are on each other again. This time, he connects them together more firmly, and holds the kiss for several seconds, long enough he thinks, for his point to be made. If it isn't, then Ash is more hopeless than him at realizing things.

When they part, he feels his own rush of breathlessness, and it shows in his voice when he says, "I meant that too."

Before he can retreat entirely, though, Ash grabs his hand by the wrist.

"You... You're not going to leave me, are you?" he asks, and in that moment, he sounds infinitely vulnerable. Not at all like he usually is.

Eiji of course knows there's more to Ash than strength and fearlessness, but to hear it so apparent in his voice is startling. He looks Ash over carefully with his eyes, trying to feel out what the best response is. Honesty, of course, but gently delivered? Bluntly? He's not sure what it will take, and if there's one thing he doesn't want to screw up, it's this. 

Gazing at Ash meaningfully, he decides on his answer.

"I meant what I told you a while ago. That even if the whole world turns on you, I'll always be on your side. That means I'll stay with you too, no matter what the future brings. There's nowhere that I'd rather be. The only thing that could ever make me leave is if you didn't want me here anymore. Then I'd go, just to make you happy."

Ash's expression turns fierce.

"That's never going to happen," he asserts, letting go of Eiji's wrist in favor of lacing their fingers.

"Then, for me, it won't either," Eiji promises.

He squeezes their joined hands, and is thinking about more kisses when a shadow crosses over Ash's face. He lets go of their connection, frowning.

"This isn't how I meant to do this. I mean in the bath, of all places. I was going to do it properly some night."

Eiji shakes his head good-naturedly.

"You mean, when you don't look a drowned rat?" he jests, all to see the frown lift off Ash's face. It works, and the frown is replaced with a pout.

"Way to be a smartass, Eiji."

"Apparently you love me anyway." The words slip out before he can think better of them, and once he realizes, Eiji flushes.

"Lucky for you, I do, you mean," Ash says, a little smile working its way onto his face this time.

Eiji's heart swells.

All of these feelings may be new and confusing, but at least they can go through them together. At least they feel the same way. That's more than he could ask for, and certainly more than he ever hoped for. 

It seems the universe is kinder than he thought.

Looking up, he notices Ash staring at him. Eiji gifts him a kindly grin.

And before he knows it, they're kissing again, drawn together as if by magnets. He reciprocates eagerly this time, angling his lips against Ash's in order to feel them more firmly. They continue in this way for several long, languorous moments before they come up for air. Even that is brief though, because soon enough, he finds himself being drawn back in, craving more.

Drowned rat or no, Ash is warm, Eiji thinks, and he won't give that warmth up to anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> And then they went to bed, and totally cuddled each other. /the end/
> 
> I had to write more for these boys, and couldn't get the idea of Eiji washing Ash's hair out of my head. I hope it was enjoyable!
> 
> Feel free to come find me on tumblr [@risquetendencies](http://risquetendencies.tumblr.com/).


End file.
